“Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring – quite often the hard way.” – Pamela Dugdale
We get to choose our friends, but not our family, so better deal with them. Perhaps one of the most beautiful relations one can have in the family is the relationship with sibling(s). No matter how much you love them, hate them and love them again, you can’t imagine a life without them, more so when you are both growing up. He/she will probably be the one special person in your singlehood who knows you the longest and the best.
Silly fights, squabbles, annoying, meanness, calling names, telling lies on the other, teasing, punching, scratching, pinching, screaming, bullying etc. are common forms of sibling rivalry. Sometimes things get nasty between you, parents intervene, you sulk and still you want, and will, get along with each other as good as before.
Well, it happens in most households and it teaches you social skills for handling bigger conflicts in life. Your EQ grows through this and niceties of adjustment are embraced. Positive sibling relation is mutually beneficial and to everyone in the family too.
Do you know that both of you make such a spirited team if you are in that perfect adoring-each-other mode? The things you could do. The fun you have. The times you fight for each other, not against..
Been in another fight with your brother/sister lately? Well what are you waiting for? One of you has to take the first step to reconcile. Put down that pride, forget the ill-humour. Remember you still love him/her. You are lucky to have an idiot bro/sis to fight sometimes.
Have you tried these before?
- Take some cool-off time for yourself, away from him/her. Distract yourself by engaging in some activity that interests you. Meanwhile, try to think from the other’s point-of-view as to the motivation, manner and conclusion of fight. E.g. You were enjoying by yourself that your bro/sis felt left out and bored. It was just a way of getting attention.
- Go upto him/her if still upset or angry. Try to comfort, drop in a sorry if you feel like it, watch out for his/her mood. Not good, leave him/her alone for some more time.
- Make an effort to do something nice for him/her. If a request for particular help is sought, do it without second thoughts. But do not brag about your big-heartedness and spoil the effect. Maybe you can cut a deal like taking turns, trading a junk/possession. E.g. getting a cup of his/her favourite drink, fixing a broken toy etc.
- If you have a good sense of humour, get a funny story or video or picture or joke across. Laughing together goes a long way in bringing back the bond. If he/she tells a joke in return, laugh honestly and get back on track.
- Sharing is caring. Be generous towards your sibling. Share a treat, or your toy/computer game or anything he/she will like.
- Compliment him/her for something, like a good haircut or a smart habit. Encourage and he/she feels great and love you more.
- Invite him/her to do stuff that you may enjoy together. Find ways to play, spend time together. Call up for a game of cricket, passing the ball or UNO cards. Even if you don’t enjoy what he/she likes, it doesn’t hurt to accept his/her wish and enjoy together. E.g. Pretend to have an interest in watching his/her favourite TV program.