Effective Techniques for Managing Aggressive Behaviors in Children

When a child melts down and becomes aggressive, they can pose a serious risk to themselves and others, including parents and siblings.

It’s not uncommon for kids who have trouble handling their emotions to lose control and direct their distress at a caregiver, screaming, throwing dangerous objects, or hitting and biting. Children often feel sorry after they’ve worn themselves out and calmed down.

So, what should you do?

It’s helpful to first understand that behavior is communication. A child who is so overwhelmed that they are lashing out is a distressed child. They don’t yet have the skills to manage their feelings and express them in a more mature way. They may lack language, impulse control, or problem-solving abilities.

Nonetheless, how you react when a child lashes out has an effect on whether they will continue to respond to distress in the same way or learn better ways to handle their feelings so they don’t become overwhelming. Here are some pointers:

• Stay calm: Faced with a raging child, it’s easy to feel out of control and find yourself yelling at them. But when you shout, you have less chance of reaching them. As hard as it may be, if you can stay calm and in control of your own emotions, you can model for your child how to do the same thing.
• Don’t give in: Don’t encourage them to continue this behavior by agreeing to what they want in order to make it stop.
• Praise appropriate behavior: When they have calmed down, praise them for pulling themselves together. And when they do try to express their feelings verbally and calmly, praise them for those efforts.
• Avoid triggers: Most kids who have frequent meltdowns do so at very predictable times, like during homework time, bedtime, or when it’s time to stop playing. The trigger is usually being asked to do something they don’t like or to stop doing something they do like. Time warnings (e.g., “We’re going in 10 minutes”), or breaking tasks down into one-step directions (e.g., “First, put on your shoes”), can all help avoid meltdowns.

How you respond to a tantrum also depends on its severity. The first rule in handling nonviolent tantrums is to ignore them as often as possible since even negative attention (like telling the child to stop) can be reinforcing. However, when a child becomes physical, ignoring is not recommended, as it can result in harm to others and to the child. In this situation, place the child in a safe environment where they do not have access to you or any other potential rewards. If the child is young (usually 7 or younger), try placing them in a timeout chair. If they won’t stay in the chair, take them to a backup area where they can calm down on their own without anyone else in the room. Again, for this approach to work, there should not be any toys or games in the area that might make it rewarding. If you have an older child who is being aggressive and you are unable to carry them into an isolated area to calm down, psychologists advise removing yourself from their vicinity. This ensures that they are not receiving any attention or reinforcement from you and helps to keep you safe.

Child behavior therapists can offer evidence-based methods, such as pediatric cognitive behavioral therapy, to teach children how to manage emotions and decrease aggression. Early intervention is crucial to prevent long-term challenges.

‍

Resources – 

https://childmind.org/article/angry-kids-dealing-with-explosive-behavior/

https://pebblestherapycentre.in/blog/strategies-to-handle-aggressive-behavior-in-children/

‍